You like shouting along to punk rock at the Double Down Saloon. You like watching Kendall Tenney on Channel 3. You take dates to the Peppermill, hoping to score.

You like Oscar Goodman.

You like road trips to San Diego. You like having sex -- at Red Rock. You like damn near everything about at Freakin' Frog. You count the days until the next Pimp N' Ho Ball.

You think The Olive Garden has the best Italian food in town.

You like the Stratosphere's thrill rides and enjoy slumming at the Sahara. You like seeing movies at the Palms and go to Tower Records for CDs. You buy porn at the Adult Superstore, get your gay on at Gypsy and dance until dawn at Drai's. At 5 a.m., when you can't drink any more, you sober up at Denny's.

You can't stand Oscar Goodman. You hate the heat. Despise the traffic. Someday you'd like to see a casino built around a lumberjack theme. Or sadomasochism.

You think Starbucks is the best coffeehouse in the valley. You think P.F. Chang's serves the best Chinese. Your taste in local authors? Don't even get us started.

You sure are interesting.

That's what we think of you, esteemed readers, after slogging through the ballots for Best of the Valley 2005. It was grueling work, but work we thought would bear the worthwhile fruits of truly discriminating minds. Not only would we cubicle-bound wretches gain new and startling insights into Las Vegas, but we'd have a sort of merit badge to boot: See? See how smart and sophisticated CityLife readers are?!

In some cases, that proved true. Your taste in nightclubs and dive bars? Laudable. Sushi and strip joints? Praiseworthy. But we can't help but feel the need to say something to you. Don't take this the wrong way. But, well, maybe you need to get out more.

Think of it as homework -- due next year.

-- ANDREW KIRALY

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